What is Para-Addiction?

A Para-addiction occurs when an enabler’s life has become enmeshed with someone who has significant addictive or abusive behaviors. In many cases, the para-addict’s life is even more chaotic and unmanageable because they have shouldered the consequences of their loved one’s behavior while trying to protect him/her.

Many people use the term “enabling” to describe a para-addiction. Not all enabling is bad. By definition, an enabler is one that supplies the means, knowledge or opportunity to achieve an end. There is nothing wrong with helping someone do something they cannot do for themselves or to make things easier for someone who is trying hard to achieve a goal.

But when an enabler helps another persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by helping that individual avoid consequences of such behavior, the enabler becomes a para-addict. Para-addicts continue their compulsive enabling despite knowing that it is having negative consequences in their own lives and is not even producing positive results in the life of their loved one. Sometimes, the actions of the para-addict are as damaging and dangerous to the addict as the substance they are using. These same actions can also be as destructive to the para-addict’s life as the substance is to the addict.